Christmas Special

Lesbians, ghosts and Death itself - what’s more festive than that? As it’s the most wonderful time of the year, I thought I’d read appropriately. Here are the FIIIIIVE CHRISTMAAAAS BOOOOOKS I read this December.

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

Where better to start than the granddaddy of Christmas stories?

Another classic to tick off my List of Shame this year and apparently, there’s no better Christmas story than this. I mean, every other is in some way a homage or exploring the same themes as A Christmas Carol, right? It set the standard, the blueprint, and everything since has tried to emulate it but we always come back to it because the original is always the best, isn’t it? Should we have all given up after 1843?

Anyway, you’d think I’d know better by now but I’m constantly surprised by how much I’m enjoying discovering The Classics™ and how even if I don’t recognise some of the words or understand the references, the writing still feels modern. And Dickens was definitely ahead of his time which is why A Christmas Carol is, well, timeless.

Scrooge’s arc is simple yet, effective and universal - treat others how you want to be treated / be nice at Christmas / be charitable. It encompasses exactly what a Christmas story should be about - finding your Christmas spirit.

I occasionally got lost reading when Dickens gets distracted himself describing a scene and the focus isn’t on Scrooge and his reactions but otherwise, it’s easy and short enough to follow.

There are a couple of plotholes I noticed like, how does Scrooge being nicer save Tiny Tim’s life? Even if increasing Bob Cratchitt’s wage puts more food on the table, the NHS hasn’t been invented yet. There’s no efficient healthcare for whatever maladies the lad has.

But you know what, you don’t even think about that when you’re reading it because you’re wrapped up in the good feelings of it and believe positivity will make everything okay.

Also, I found myself laughing at several points? Admittedly, this is the first Dickens novel I’ve read from start to finish but the geezer’s got wit and I feel confident enough now to read his other work. Which I can do because I read this as part of Four Novels, a Dickens collection including Oliver Twist, Great Expectations and The Tale of Two Cities. I’d say buy it if you’re into books - it’s leather-bound with gold-edged pages and will look good on your shelf and makes you feel like a proper reader - but the font is tiny and might give you a headache. Still, Dickens deserves it!

P.S. I watched the Muppets’ adaptation for the first time this year and it is impressively faithful to original text and one of the more accurate adaptations I’ve seen. I’d recommend watching it after you’ve read this and it’ll make you smug for noticing all the lines.

Carol by Patricia Highsmith

It’s 1952, you’re Patricia Highsmith’s publisher Harper & Brothers, Strangers on a Train, a thriller, has just been a major success. “So, what’s your next novel?!” you ask excitedly. “A semi-autobiographical lesbian romance,” she replies. As you can imagine, Highsmith’s publishers refused this proposal as it would be “career suicide”. But then another publisher (ironically called Coward-McCann) took the book, originally titled The Price of Salt (which is a reference to Sodom in the Bible but otherwise a confusing title that doesn’t represent the book very well) and it sold a million copies.

I bet Harper and his brothers felt very silly.

THE PRICE OF SALT

Obviously, The Price of Salt was instantly popular with lesbian readers who sent letters to Highsmith’s pseudonym “Claire Morgan” thanking her for a positive portrayal of lesbians. And can you blame them? For many years it was the only lesbian novel with a happy ending! To this day, many end with death or depression.

“The appeal of The Price of Salt was that it had a happy ending for its two main characters, or at least they were going to try to have a future together. Prior to this book, homosexuals male and female in American novels had had to pay for their deviation by cutting their wrists, drowning themselves in a swimming pool, or by switching to heterosexuality (so it was stated), or by collapsing—alone and miserable and shunned—into a depression equal to hell” - an excerpt from Patricia Highsmith’s afterword when the book was republished in 1990 as Carol.

Now, you’re wondering what has this lesbian romance from the 1950s got to do with Christmas? Well, it’s set at Christmas! And although it’s not about “the Christmas spirit” it is about how hard Christmas can be for some, whether that be working in retail or fighting for custody to see your kid open their presents.

I can’t relate to the latter but this will be my fourth year working in a supermarket over the holidays and I’ve never related to a character as quickly as Therese. And not just because I’m also an anxious artist stuck trying to find work.

19-year-old Therese spends the majority of the novel overthinking the slightest things, wondering whether the titular Carol, an older woman she falls in love with, actually likes her back and I remember exactly what that felt like at her age.

Highsmith’s sensibilities as a suspense writer are perfect for capturing the intensity of emotion and paranoia that comes with falling in love for the first time...or maybe that’s just my experience.

Regardless, as Val McDermid (another lesbian crime writer I need to read and who writes a lovely introduction for the novel) says, ‘Carol has the drive of a thriller but the imagery of a romance’ and I’d go as far to say it might be the most romantic book I’ve ever read because said imagery, I mean WOW, I wish I could think up even half it. Highsmith’s writing just encapsulates how extreme and how high in esteem we see the one we love.

To quote McDermid again (I know I keep doing this, nicking quotes, it’s lazy reviewing, but let’s be honest, I’m not really a reviewer, I’m just a reader and a writer but I know if someone’s already written it better then why not give credit to where credit’s due?) -

‘Some books change lives. This is one of them...This is a book to set aside; it demands to be read late into the night with eyes burning and heart racing.’

Usually, reviews like this are hyperbole so that they get on the cover but I can attest, even on lack of sleep, I stayed up to finish Carol feverishly because I couldn’t put it down and it did indeed bring a tear to my eye.

Either ending - Therese going off to find herself after realising she idealised Carol as her first love or going after her - would’ve worked but seeing as a happy ending was practically unheard of at the time, I’m happy Highsmith decided to bring the lonely souls together.

Overall, Carol remains a groundbreaking novel even now and Patricia Highsmith is quickly becoming one of my favourite authors.

Hogfather by Terry Pratchett

I told you I was going to read more Pratchett! Now, I’ve read this one, I want to devour them all!

I don’t know what he’s going on about half the time but damn, if it isn’t compelling! I couldn’t put this down...but that might’ve been because there’s no chapters or any form of breaking into parts. Then again, it only adds to the breakneck pace and the feeling this all takes place in one night.

Basically, an assassin called Mr Teatime (pronounced Te-ah Tim-eh - he’s very adamant about that) is hired by entities who hate life because it ruins the balance of the universe to take out Discworld’s version of Father Christmas - the Hogfather (he has pigs instead of reindeer) which causes everything make-believe to come to life and Death steps in to save Hogswatch (Christmas).

My main takeaway from this bananas story is that I love Pratchett’s recurring personification of Death. His non-human characters are always fascinated with humanity to the point they pick up human traits and Death is no exception, except he takes things literally and too far and it’s so funny.

If you’re a fan of The Nightmare Before Christmas, like me, you’ll probably like this too. Death is essentially Jack Skellington and like him, falls in love with the holiday and the idea of bringing joy and tries to do it his way and ultimately, makes things worse despite the best intentions with amusing consequences.

There’s lots of fun wordplay and I live for Pratchett’s tangents when he uses his characters to question why things are the way they are and puts the worlds to rights.

If you’re a Pratchett fan and haven’t read this (you probably have though), this is one to tick off your list. And if you’re not and you fancy a Christmas story that’s a bit- well, a lot different and off-the-wall, this is one for you.

Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances by Maureen Johnson, John Green and Lauren Myracle

A big part of Christmas is nostalgia and as it’s been a minute since I read any YA, I thought I’d revisit this anthology of interconnected love stories set in a small town during the worst snowstorm in 50 years.

I originally read this when I was in college and first discovered then binged all of John Green’s books. His contribution to this fix-up is A Cheertastic Christmas Miracle, the second story and probably, my second favourite of the three. It’s the most relatable for sure, told from the POV of an awkward guy who’s in love with his female friend, but I just think the first story, The Jubilee Express by Maureen Johnson is the sweetest of the batch.

Don’t get me wrong, they’re all equally schmaltzy and typical YA fare, from the cliche characters to the unrealistic dialogue, but I love it all, especially combined with Christmas.

I burned through these one story at a time and my only complaint is that they feel rushed! I would’ve happily spent more time with each, especially The Jubilee Express, but to be fair, each author does an impressive job of establishing the characters quickly so that you’re invested within just a few pages.

I was least keen on the final story, The Patron Saint of Pigs, but I think it has the best message relating to Christmas. Essentially, don’t be selfish! Think and do things for others.

I feel like the story suffers yet also benefits in a weird paradox for being the one that brings everything together from the previous two. Like, poor Lauren Myracle had to cram a lot of contrivances in to wrap up at the expense of what she wanted to tell but to be honest, she does a great job and it’s satisfying.

If you want something light and fluffy, this will do the trick!

Skipping Christmas by John Grisham

As well as reading Christmas books, I’ve been watching Christmas movies and upon rewatching Christmas with the Kranks this year, I noticed it was based up on Skipping Christmas by John Grisham. “John Grisham?” I thought. The guy whose books you see in abundance in literally every shop that sells books? Doesn’t he just write crime and thrillers?

Well, like all the best authors, Grisham goes out of his comfort zone here and excels with a short but satisfyingly sharp and witty commentary on the commercialisation of Christmas.

In Skipping Christmas, the aptly named Luther Krank, an accountant, cracks the numbers and works out that he and his wife Nora spent $6,100 the previous Christmas. So, with their grown-up daughter Blair off with the Peace Corps for a year, Luther convinces Nora to skip the holidays and save enough money to go on a cruise instead which baffles and puts them at odds with their neighbours.

Essentially, it’s another iteration of A Christmas Carol with Luther = Scrooge but I’d say he’s even more miserly and he doesn’t really come round to regaining his Christmas spirit but grudgingly accepts the season and the baggage it brings is unavoidable so it’s best to put up with it.

So, Luther’s arc and cynical outlook isn’t exactly cheery but it is very funny and rather understandable. Christmas is stressful! And if someone doesn’t want to celebrate it, leave them to it! Especially if they’ve spent money on a holiday.

SPOILERS: Blair surprises her parents by returning home for Christmas with her new fiance and they rush around and pretend everything is normal when Luther is right, she should’ve told them earlier and still gone away!

Anyway, Luther gives his dream getaway as a gift to his neighbour and his terminally ill wife who need the break more than him which is supposed to be a generous sacrifice. And the Kranks’ neighbours, who all gave them grief, chip in to help out.

It’s a sweet ending for a rather snarky book and would never happen in the UK where we’re nowhere as close with our neighbours.

Still, in a year where we all have no choice but to skip Christmas in some capacity and can’t go on holiday even if we wanted to, it’s a bit of a gut punch. But think how much more we’ll appreciate the people in our lives next Christmas when we can see them again. And just like in Grisham’s novel, if we all pull together we can make sure that is a certainty.